It’s 7:15 AM and I have already primed and painted my kitchen ceiling this morning. Let me be clear, although I’m happy to have this underway, I am in no way thrilled about the hour of day. I’ve been up since 4:45 waiting for the new kitchen appliances. The carpenter was here until after midnight last night.

Two weeks after placing the order, I got a notification from the appliance company stating my oven, refrigerator, microwave, and garbage disposal were leaving New York … that was two weeks ago. So for the past two weeks there has apparently been an 85 year old trucker, we’ll call him Earl, driving across the country at 15 miles an hour with my kitchen in the back of his truck. Yesterday, he slowly rolled into port and I received a second notification that Earl would drop them off somewhere between 5:00 AM and 9:00 AM. I tried to explain to no avail that, as we are not vampires, a 5:00 AM delivery was not reasonable. However, it seems Earl gets on the road early and there’s no changing his ways. After requesting a more spefic timeframe and 20-minute warning call before he arrives, we heard he would be here between 5:30 and 6:00. It’s now 7:30. I don’t think the dispatcher compensated for Earl’s reduced rate of speed and stopping off for a fiber-filled breakfast.

We paid the appliance company for fancy pants delivery to have everything moved and installed, but Earl doesn’t do that. I wouldn’t want him to break a hip or anything. Last night we moved all of the old appliances to prepare for today’s delivery. We found all sorts of treasures from the previous occupants. Apparently, Billy Bob, Sally June, and their twelve children didn’t feel the need to clean anything that wasn’t in their line of sight. The spaces under the fridge and oven actually had inedible items glued to the floor with either barbeque sauce or bodily fluid. I don’t want to know which it was. I do, however, feel the need to boil every item remaining in the kitchen.

So here’s last night’s “before” of the kitchen. And yes, that’s my old Darth Vader refrigerator peeking through the doorway from the dining room.

Today’s list for the kitchen will be:

-Pray the new appliances aren’t scratched or dented so I don’t have start this process over again with Earl
-Install new appliances including refrigerator, microwave, stove and range, and garbage disposal
-Re-seat the seal on the sink because we found it leaking last night
-Replace board under the sink because the stupid sink was leaking
-Finish painting the ceiling and install can lights
-Clean everything for the fortieth time due to dust and debris so we can have a decent meal tonight

Left for the kitchen:

There is a breakfast bar to the left that is being held up by what I can only describe as driftwood from a sunken pirate ship. This has to be repaired, but not today. The countertop above the dishwasher is loose and I have hardware for other cupboards that has yet to be installed. The light fixtures in here are Home Depot clearance specials with an added layer of permanent dust for gothic decor. It’s not exactly the look I’m going for in the house, but I haven’t come across the right ones yet.

Earl, eat faster. It’s almost 8:00 and you’re trying my patience.