Three a.m. this morning, laying on a mattress in the dining room, my husband turns to me and says, “Don’t we have a guest room?”. Oh yeah. We happen to have one with pretty flooring, king bed, TV-the works. I don’t know what’s worse: That we have enough bedrooms we actually forgot one of them exists, or that it took us that long to remember a room we spent countless hours decorating?

I just finished the second and hopefully final coat of paint in the master. I’m covered in paint and smell like a goat. It took me two days to completely cover the stinking textured walls. Did you know that every time you texture a wall with orange peel, a baby seal dies? Perhaps I’m being a bit dramatic, but there has to be snappy tagline out there somewhere that will stop people from spraying this decorating abortion all over perfectly good walls. Maybe I’ll start an internet rumor that orange peel is made from puppies.

If you’re reading this, defending orange peel because it compliments the dreamcatcher you bought on your trip down south in 1994, please stop. You’re house is crying for a makeover and that American Indian art was made most likely made in China.

I love the paint color we chose. The picture below doesn’t do it justice. The hardwood floors and white molding will be a great contrast. The walls were supposed to be flat paint, but thanks to Mo Depot it turned out to be more of a satin finish. Close enough, as long as I don’t have to paint this again.

Progress picture for you:

I cheated and used painter’s tape on the ceiling and windows. There’s now about $10 of used tape and disappointment scrunched up on the floor. As always, the paint bled through the tape. I cut in all of the edges in the guest room by hand and it looks great. Cheaters never win.

Tomorrow I’ll deal with the ceiling, start sanding the molding, and check for spots on the walls that need a third coat.

Remember, use spray texture if you would like, but you have to explain to little Billy why you hate those cute baby seals.